While ministering in the region of Judea beyond the Jordan, a group of Pharisees came to Jesus and tested Him by asking a series of questions about marriage and divorce:

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” (Matthew 19:3)

“Why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?” (v. 7)

To these questions, Jesus responds that “what God has joined together, let not man separate” (v. 6) and “Whoever divorces his wife—except for sexual immorality—and marries another commits adultery” (v. 9).

Jesus’ answer seems pretty straightforward: The only justification for divorce is sexual immorality (literally porneia, or fornication) and every other divorce constitutes adultery. But there appears to be an inconsistency. Why did Jesus tell Moses that divorce “for any reason” was permissible 1,400 years earlier?

Sure, we could chalk it up to the hardness of the Israelites’ hearts (v. 8), but doesn’t that leave an opening for Christian divorce today, so long as one claims that hearts have been hardened? While the divorce rate among Christians is lower than among non-Christians, it still rests around 20-25 percent, meaning around 1 in 4 Christian couples appear to be using this “hardened heart” loophole to excuse their divorces.

What’s more, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians has been used to justify divorce as well. Paul writes that “if the unbelieving spouse departs, let him depart; a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases” (1 Corinthians 7:15).

Jesus says that divorce is only permissible in cases of sexual immorality, Paul says divorce is permissible when your spouse wants a divorce, and Moses says divorce is permissible for any reason. How can we explain these contradictions to establish a consistent view of marriage and divorce?

The answer is simple: neither Moses nor Paul disagree with Jesus.

Moses and Divorce

Let’s examine Moses’ view of divorce:

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house.” (Deuteronomy 24:1)

Notice that Moses didn’t say a man could divorce his wife “for any reason”; Moses required that two conditions be met to qualify for a divorce:

1. Some uncleanness was found in her
2. The uncleanness caused the husband to find no favor in his wife anymore

So why would the Pharisees ask Jesus if it was permissible to divorce a wife “for any reason” when Moses made no such claim?

It’s because there was disagreement in first century Judaism was Moses meant by “some uncleanness.” In Hebrew, the phrase is “ervat dabar,” which literally means “a naked thing.” The Jews weren’t sure what “a naked thing” meant, so three different schools of thought were formed to translate Moses’ command.

Rabbi Shammai taught that an ervat dabar was a sexually sinful act—a sin that required the participants to be naked. Rabbi Hillel, on the other hand, believed that ervat didn’t mean “naked” so much as “shameful,” and thus taught that a man could divorce his wife for anything he considered shameful. In fact, Hillel went as far as to state that “burning your husband’s toast” was shameful enough to warrant a divorce. Finally, Rabbi Akiva taught that the ervat dabar wasn’t even relevant to the divorce, and that all that was required was that the wife no longer find favor in her husband’s eyes. Even if the wife had never done anything wrong, Akiva went as far as to say that “if [a husband] finds another woman more beautiful than [his wife],” he could divorce her.

To summarize, the three prevailing schools of thought during Jesus’ ministry were that divorce is lawful when (a) a spouse commits sexual sin; (b) a wife does anything her husband doesn’t like; and (c) a husband wants a divorce.

This would explain why the Pharisees question to Jesus was considered a “test” (v. 3). They wanted Jesus on record for which school of thought He subscribed to. Thus, when Jesus answers that divorce is only permissible in the case of sexual immorality, He isn’t disagreeing with Moses; rather He is agreeing with Moses and clarifying Moses’ position to those who had misused Moses’ words to justify divorce for any reason.

Paul and Divorce

But what about Paul? Before examining Paul’s words, we need to make something very clear in how we interpret these epistles. The first is that Paul is not going to disagree with Jesus. Contrary to the heretical views of some teachers, Paul is not the foundation of New Testament teaching; Jesus is (Jesus is the foundation of Old Testament teaching as well). Paul didn’t come to correct Jesus’ “old covenant” teaching; Paul was sent by Jesus to strengthen the Church with the teachings of Christ.

And Jesus plainly taught that to divorce (for any reason other than sexual immorality) and remarry was to commit adultery. Therefore, we must accept that, whatever Paul appears to be teaching, it cannot disagree with the clear teachings of our Messiah.

With that out of the way, let’s examine Paul’s view of divorce:

“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10, 11)

This doesn’t seem as contradictory as we have been led to believe. Paul writes that, according to God, married people are commanded to not depart from their spouses. But even if they do depart, they are to remain unmarried until they are reconciled with their spouse. And under no circumstances are they to get a divorce.

Paul’s teaching, which he claims is commanded by the Lord Himself, seems very consistent with Jesus and Moses. So where does the confusion come from?

It comes from the next four verses. But notice how Paul prefaces the following section:

“But to the rest I, not the Lord, say…” (1 Corinthians 7:12)

Notice that two things change in this next passage. First, Paul’s audience changes. Before he was writing to married couples, while now he is writing to “everyone else.” Next, the author changes. Before God was commanding; now Paul is sharing his opinion. That’s not to say that Paul’s opinion is wrong. It is included in the divinely inspired scriptures, and we should treat it as such. At the same time, we shouldn’t allow Paul’s (God-inspired) thoughts in verses 12-15 to outweigh God’s clear commands in verses 10-11. Instead, we should view these verses as God-breathed commentary on the previous verses that will clarify (not contradict) God’s teachings on marriage.

And after telling married couples how they should behave, what does Paul tell “everyone else”? Not to judge a Christian who is married to a non-Christian and not to judge a Christian who has been abandoned by a non-Christian.

“A woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife.” (vv. 13, 14)

“If the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.” (v. 15)

At the beginning of this passage (vv. 10, 11), God had commanded that married couples were under no circumstances to divorce. Here Paul tells people on the outside of these marriages that they aren’t to judge a Christian who remains married to an unbeliever—for the unbeliever and their children will become holy because of the faithfulness of the Christian spouse—nor are they to bring condemnation on a fellow Christian who has been left by an unbelieving spouse. Nowhere in this passage does God (or Paul) say divorce is a lawful option for Christians. Rather, Paul follows up God’s command to reject divorce by teaching fellow parishioners to be supportive of those in troubled marriages rather than judgmental.

In other words, Paul agrees with Moses and Jesus: divorce isn’t an option for Christians, even those who are married to unbelievers.

What About Hardened Hearts?

After clarifying Moses’ and Paul’s teachings on marriage and divorce, let’s return to Jesus teaching.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So then, there are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

To make His case concerning marriage and divorce, Jesus doesn’t appeal to Moses or the Law (as great as those two are); He appeals to creation itself. From the very beginning, marriage was an irreversible act. When a man marries a woman, God turns the two of them into one new thing. It cannot be undone, even if a court issues a piece of paper.

So why then did Moses sometimes allow for divorce? “Because of the hardness of your hearts.”

Hardened hearts—which in scripture signify a lack of faith that results of a lack of obedience (Mark 16:14, Deuteronomy 10:16, Jeremiah 4:4)—is why we have divorce today. People refuse to trust God with their marriages and their families, and it results in humans trying to do the impossible—to separate what God has joined together—which causes disaster for all involved.

Why might a spouse commit ervat dabar, or sexual sin? Because of a hardened heart toward God and their spouse. And why might a scorned spouse seek a divorce from a partner who sinned against them? Because of a hardened heart toward God and their spouse.

Jesus’ point is that, even in the face of adultery, divorce was permitted because of hardened hearts. It might be difficult to accept, but God’s will in the case of ervat dabar is for forgiveness and reconciliation to take place. Even sin shouldn’t separate what God has joined together.

After all, while God has historically separated Himself from His idolatrous and adulterous people, He has always striven to be reconciled. God has only ever had one bride: the True Israel, the Ecclesia, the Church of God.

In summary: Creation, the Law, the Gospels, and the Epistles all agree. Divorce and remarriage aren’t really an option. While technically divorce would be permissible in the case of fornication (ervat dabar), this is only because we have hardened our hearts to God and to each other. If our hearts are right, we should seek reconciliation and avoid trying to separate what God has joined together.